How can I expect myself to do work for nobody, for no reason, for no grade, with no feedback, for no personal development, amongst others with relatively no acknowledgment, no interest and no respect for the work I am doing.

What a truly pointless test of one's subservience.

What more could I have achieved with my own initiative, with my own reasoning, using my own ideas and my own purpose.

Passively molding myself into a tool for others to exploit instead of embracing my own passion is killing me inside.

I give it a few more years like this before there is nothing left for me to hold onto.

In a lack of searching for my true self I will have become an instrument of "common sense", the embodiment of society's incapacity to embrace the beauty of the individual.

The modern child is a product of applied servitude, this society's idea of "freedom", with two options:

The freedom to subvert themselves into a hierarchy of greed defined by those in fiercely guarded situations of sociological and capital power.

The freedom to destroy themselves, and starve.

I am the third option.